Happy Memorial Day! We’ve reached the end of the long weekend and I’m planning to spend the day leisurely taking Pierre to the dog park, repainting my nails and possibly going to a movie with Jordan. Truth be told, the long weekend wasn’t nearly as restful as it has been in the past because I have been resting all month. Did that sound like humble brag? I totally didn’t mean that to sound like a humble brag.
Though I’ve stayed pretty hush hush over here in blogland, when I returned from Paris I began the search for a new job and spent the entirety of May unemployed. Spending an entire month off of work is just as it sounds-fun and productive at first before I grew stir crazy and desperate for growth and productivity.
Let me recount the five stages of unemployed job hunting:
1. I’ll Stay in Bed until 11:00 because I can…
The first day or two of unemployment feels a lot like a mini vacation. Even though all of your friends and family are busy with their day to day lives (and jobs) you can have a blast all by yourself. Whether you’re sleeping in until 10:00 (something my internal clock will not allow me to do), eating scrambled eggs in the bathtub while watching Project Runway (no comment), or simply spending two hours researching the neuroscience of dolphins in bed…it’s a lot like summer when you were 12 years old but with a lot more appreciation for all the extra free time and more money for takeout and pizza.
2. Ultra Productive Mode
I can’t stay in the sloth-like first stage for too long so I quickly move on to stage two which generally involves deep cleaning the kitchen, sorting through old books, taking clothes to Goodwill, cleaning each pair of my shoes individually, reorganizing my desk, cleaning out the refrigerator, and mopping compulsively morning and night. This stage feels super happy manic at first (and generally involves copious amounts of coffee). Eventually you always realized you’re ultimately just keeping yourself busy to avoid asking the really big questions like “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!”.
3. Why doesn’t anyone Want me?!
After submitting 74 resumes (during the ultra productive mode of course) and receiving not a single call back or email life starts to feel a lot like 7th grade when no one wanted to be friends with you because you wore rainbow braces and safety pins in your pants (just me?). Lacking all motivation is normal and reverting into a slightly less lethargic version of stage one is typical. This stage is categorized by long phone conversations with your best friend discussing your worth as a human, existential feelings of isolation in the universe and considering going back to grad school ASAP.
4. I wish I could just Buy a New pair of Shoes already…
Stage number three ends abruptly when you start receiving calls and emails about resumes you have submitted. Suddenly you go from feeling like the kid picked last for teams in P.E. to feeling like Taylor Swift in a swarm of second graders. You regain your confidence and desire to live life as an actual human twenty-something again. You start heading to interviews, and second interviews and day dreaming about a new career, new co-workers and a fabulous new wardrobe for your new adventures. Sadly, since you haven’t started a new job yet you can’t justify spending a single penny at the Nordstrom anniversary sale, Tory Burch sale or anything else for that matter.
5. I Can’t Wait to start my New Job!
When you finally start receiving offers and accept a job the world seems five hundred times brighter. You swear you’ll never crave a month long staycation again and begin planning all of the cute accessories you’ll pack in your “first day of work” bag. With your first week of outfits steamed and hung in your closet, your nails painted and the butterflies in your stomach fluttering in full force you know the first week jitters are upon you! Now all you have left to do is sit back basking in your own anxieties and self doubt until your first week is over.
As you can tell, it’s been a wildly emotional month. I can’t wait to share more of my next adventure with you when the time comes. Enjoy the day off lovelies <3