As I grow older I’ve noticed Christmas is becoming more complicated. First of all, I don’t feel it is appropriate as an adult to list off a bunch of gifts I’m hoping for. To me, a Christmas list seems sort of bratty after high school (though a Chloe saddlebag would never be turned away *wink wink*). No, when you grow up Christmas is a lot more complicated. Sure, I’m sure we’d all like that new Naked palette but is it really as fulfilling as losing that stubborn five pounds of Christmas cookie weight, or that coveted 4.0 GPA? Or finally perfecting winged eyeliner? I think not.
One| A sense of Direction
Is it too much to ask Santa for validation that I’m headed in the right direction? Perhaps a pat on the head saying good job? A sparkly notecard in my stocking with a heartfelt note explaining that it’s okay I majored in history and am now flailing through life still figuring out what it is I want to do at age 23?
Two| The Strength to check my Bank Account
I have a major fear of over drafting my checking account (because in the past it happened a lot…#college). I conquer this fear not by limiting my spending but rather by avoiding online banking and the ATM like the plague. Out of sight out of mind right?
Three| The Ability to take a Perfectly Flawless Selfie
Not only do I want to not cry every time I bust out my front facing camera (I have to be prettier than that in real life right?!) but I want to come up with a caption that is the perfect blend of sassy and insightful. No one wants to be that girl posting a clevage focused selfie with an inspirational quote by Marilyn Monroe as the caption.
Four| Some sort of Serum that will Preserve my 23 Year Old Skin…Forever
I’ve been having a fairly good skin year, not perfect but I can’t complain. I read somewhere that at 23 your skin is scientifically the best it will ever be and the slow decline begins at age 24. January 17th (my 24th birthday) is really just around the corner so I’d like to pick up a magical serum made with the blood of virgins that can keep my skin youthful and radiant forever.
Five| To Miraculously bump into Taylor Swift and become BFFs
A friend’s boyfriend recently casually mentioned that he thinks I idolize Taylor Swift. It seems like an overstatement considering I’m just a normal fan girl who has a letter from Taylor Swift on her bulletin board, a closet full of Taylor Swift 1989 concert memorabilia and a blog that frequently quotes Taylor. I didn’t want to further his cause by mentioning I frequently have dreams about taking selfies with Taylor and posting them on insta with the caption #UnicornTwins (don’t exactly know where my subconscious brain came up with that one). “Idolize” seems like a strong stalker-ish word right? I mean, there’s absoloutely nothing wrong with JUST KNOWING Taylor Swift would also be totally obsessed with me if we met.
Six| For the Kardashian family to just stop being a thing…
For whatever reason I really can’t stand the hype around this family. I think Kim looks like a centaur. I think I would die of a heart attack if Kylie was my daughter. And though Kendall is this gorgeous (probably talented) model every time I see her in an ad campaign I want to vom a little because I think of her stupid fame seeking, shameless attention driven family. I know I’m a hater but sometimes haters gotta hate.
Seven| To ban Political Banter by those without valid Sources on Facebook
Does this Christmas wish violate the right to free speech in America? Perhaps, however in my perfect dreamland people who haven’t read a single news article outside of Buzzfeed in the past year would be banned from reposting racist political memes. In fact, I’d take a step further and ban political memes in general. If you have some large, overarching statement you want to make at least have the insight and tact to formulate an argumentatively eloquent post yourself. And for god’s sake use critical thinking and don’t use a blog as a source, anyone can write whatever they want on a blog post. I’m proof!
Eight| Access to the Vogue closet for my Day to Day Wardrobe
I think I’m being quite generous here. I’m not asking for a billion dollars, I’m not asking to have my own Birkin bag, I’m just asking to wear the newest Manolo Blahnik heels, Chanel flats and Rockstuds on LOAN whenever my heart desires. It’s like my own personal rent the runway. I’m quite certain a closet of fabulous shoes could really change my perspective on life.
What are you wishing for (that can’t be purchased) this year? I can’t believe Christmas is just a week away. This year I’m splitting time between my family in Washington and my family in California so the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve is bound to fly by. Let the wild rumpus start!
Have a fabulous weekend my little Sugarplum Fairies! I’ll be attending Christmas party, sipping champagne (hopefully) and attempting to snowboard (again) this weekend. What are your plans? I hope you’re doing something festive, it’s the last weekend before Christmas, live it up!