I received some negative constructive feedback recently regarding my blog. The writer mentioned that she doesn’t believe my blog is as “authentic” as it has been in the past, and she wishes I would feature the content I used to feature. While of course I wasn’t happy to hear that someone who had once enjoyed my writing was unhappy, I also wasn’t particularly offended or defensive.
Blogging has always been a space for me to empty my thoughts onto paper. Sometimes (often) my thoughts are a manic emotional mess. If I go through a breakup, lose a friend or travel somewhere new and exciting I have more internal epiphanies than when my life is calm and mundane. I am so grateful for the interesting life experiences (both good and bad) that have compelled me to express myself through writing. However, I cannot naturally force these situations upon myself and I refuse to put myself into emotional turmoil for the sole purpose of dramatic writing.
I am a genuinely dramatic person. I say that with no shame because I don’t see “my type of drama” associated with gossip or causing issues with the people close to me. At the root of my “drama” is sensitivity. I am a sensitive and highly emotional person whose emotions drastically impact my day to day life. The venue I have found to therapeutically spill these emotions into is this blog! By venting my “drama” here, I can avoid allowing drama to overtake my actual life in a less appropriate setting (though admittedly I still lay on my bedroom floor and cry fairly regularly).
Authenticity, that is, remaining true to myself, is at the fiber of who I am and what this blog is about. Sometimes “living authentic” means two weeks of posts about shopping because my life is calm and I’m busy obsessing over fall fashion. Other times I’m driven to write about feelings or love or my existential views on life. But I can’t force it.
I refuse to write about loneliness or heartache or feelings of emptiness when I don’t feel them just as I refuse to pretend I’m happy when I’m not. This space isn’t a way for me to make money. I’ve never claimed to have any sort of niche or overarching “theme” other than staying true to myself.
Last week I wrote about clothes, this week I’m writing about my version of authenticity and next week I’ll write about whatever affects my life at that point. I know my approach to blogging isn’t the same as more professional or goal oriented bloggers. I’m just “doing me” and I hope you can be okay with that. I want to leave you with one of my favorite celebrity quotes.
If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I’m not frightened by anyone’s perception of me. -Angelina Jolie