You may not have a physical list of all the qualities you hope to find in a significant other but we’ve all mentally made that “checklist” whether we like to admit it or not. When I imagine the stereotypical “dream guy checklist” I envision my 12 year old self sitting in my lime green bedroom in my loft bed from Ikea writing in my purple diary with kittens on the cover. My perfect boyfriend in 7th grade was in a band, could do cool skateboarding tricks and would hold my hand on the school bus. Luckily my complete lack of allure (and rainbow braces) ruined that fantasy pretty quickly and my checklist stayed as a delusional daydream recorded on the pages of a preteen’s diary.
As I grew older my checklist evolved. It became less important what my boyfriend was into hobby wise (skateboarding, skiing, photography, video games, etc) and more important that he possessed specific qualities and attributes (honest, goal oriented, loving, intelligent, etc). I dated tall frat boys with blonde hair and blue eyes, I dated nerdy boys, I dated brown eyed raver boys and self proclaimed sociopath boys and exotic boys from South America. I didn’t have a type I stuck with although in my mind there was a certain physical characteristic I consistently envisioned: glasses.
For as long as I can remember I’ve held a certain fascination with glasses (I blame my childhood crush on Peter Parker). Though I never actually dated a guy with glasses my fetish was apparent as my friends shoved any boy with thick rimmed frames my way at bars and parties. I flirted with boys with glasses but it never went anywhere. Despite the spectacles there was never a natural connection-nothing weird happened we just didn’t hit it off. I continued to joke that my dream guy wore glasses but dated guys without them. I wasn’t ridiculous enough to give up dating perfectly nice, interesting, intelligent people simply because their vision was 20/20!
One cold winter day at the end of January I was convinced by my friend Kaila to go snowboarding with her and the guy she was seeing. I hadn’t been all season and she had all the gear I needed so I really had no excuse to flake out and spend my Sunday at home in bed with Blair Waldorf & Ben & Jerry’s. I woke up bright and early Sunday morning to find that a fourth skier (Kaila’s boyfriend’s friend who I had briefly met the weekend prior at my birthday party) would be joining us as well. I rolled my eyes feeling as if I had been pushed into a double date but decided not to worry about it, all four of us could hangout as friends and it wouldn’t be a big deal.
The car ride up to the mountain was long and I remained fairly silent in the back seat next to Kaila snapping selfies as Kaila’s boyfriend and his friend (named Jordan) chatted about the Superbowl in the front. I noticed his stunning green eyes behind the rims of his speckled glasses in his reflection in the rearview mirror and something stirred inside me. “It’s just the glasses!” I told myself and quickly pushed the feeling away. That day on the mountain I was separated from Kaila and her boyfriend on one run and ended up with the boy with the glasses. He kindly skied with me to the bottom of the mountain taking videos as I attempted to carve and wiped out (I’m a bad snowboarder, shh don’t tell). We sat at the bottom waiting for Kaila and her boyfriend while talking. Awkward seconds turned to comfortable minutes and soon we lost track of time as we discussed writing and design, traveling and our families. After waiting at the bottom of the mountain for what must have been forty minutes we realized something was wrong, it turned out Kaila had broken her wrist! We rushed to ski patrol and waited with her while she was bandaged up.
The rest of the afternoon was filled with fudge, German food at a cute little Bavarian town near the mountain and constant laughter as I discovered the boy with the green eyes and glasses was one of the funniest people I have ever met. On the car ride home Kaila’s boyfriend sat with her in the back seat so she could sleep on him (she still hadn’t gone to the hospital for her wrist!) and I sat up front conversing with who I had come to consider a friend despite initially rolling my eyes at his company. Stuck in traffic we laughed about online dating and shared our deepest fears for the future. I was intrigued but nervous…who was this person and how did he manage to creep into my life so unexpectedly? When he dropped me off part of me wished he wasn’t leaving and it shocked me I resolved that all the marzipan and high altitudes were making me silly.
The next few days I wondered about the boy from the ski slopes who shared my name. At this point I wasn’t interested in him as a boyfriend…just drawn to him as a person. Kaila mentioned that Jordan was intrigued by me too, he had said something about me being “deep”. I didn’t remember what I’d said to leave him lingering on my insights but I knew I had to take communication into my own hands so of course I lied. I reached out to Kaila for his number and rather than just saying “I like your glasses I think we should talk more” I created an elaborate rouge involving a fake message on OkCupid. I’m a weirdo but hey, it worked!
I texted the boy with the glasses and he responded right away. It turns out he was just as intrigued with me and was kicking himself for not asking for my phone number. We went to sushi the next day, on a road trip the next week and it has sort of been this crazy beautiful love story ever since. It was more than just the glasses but the glasses certainly helped! (:
I think the universe can be pretty freaking weird sometimes. I always wanted a boy with green eyes, freckles and glasses (because I have green eyes and freckles and I’m apparently the world’s biggest narcissist). I always wanted someone who likes to read poetry, eat raspberries in bed and would boycott the Superbowl to ride the ferris wheel with me. I wanted someone who could make me laugh and who would want me not just for the days I skip around in tulle skirts but also for the nights I read Sylvia Plath and cry in the bathtub. I wanted a boy who would surprise me flowers after a photo shoot, who would adore me for the freckles on my lips, my slightly pigeon toed stance and my intense (slightly irrational) fear of aliens. I thought I wanted all those things but kept settling for less. I wanted all of these specific traits and when I found someone who possessed them I realized I wanted all that and more not because he wasn’t good enough but because he surpassed my wildest expectations. I look back on my mental checklist and it’s a joke. It’s like wanting glasses and being handed four pairs, it’s like asking for a single lavender macaroon and being given the entire box and a bouquet of pink peonies.
The universe is weird but it’s oh so beautiful!
P.S. This post is sponsored by Firmoo (currently having their winter sale fyi). They sent me some cute non prescription glasses to play around with but the love story and glasses fetish are completely my own (I can’t make this stuff up)!