The spark, it’s that electric feeling you get around someone you’re drawn to. It’s described as fireworks or butterflies, it’s the magnetic pull that reels you in, the electric current that runs through your veins when you brush shoulders or bump knees. It’s the initial passion that allows us to fling ourselves head first into a new romance even though we’ve been hurt countless times before. Songs and poems and books are written about “the spark”. Pages upon pages attempt to disillusion this law of attraction-this piece of everyday magic and my mind has recently taken a stab at it.
What is it that causes this “spark” we all search for. Can it all be attributed to pheromones? Why is that we occasionally meet someone who seems “perfect on paper” and there isn’t an attraction and other times we meet someone we know full heartedly is all wrong for us but the “spark” keeps us coming back for more? The science behind the laws of attraction and compatibly intrigue me. Can you ever force (or create) chemistry or is chemistry a connection you simply have or you don’t?
I’ve met boys before that I could say with 100% assurance “he’s attractive”. I could see that they were funny and intelligent; I could see that they were kind. All around I saw these people as attractive yet I wasn’t (in any way) attracted to them. Likewise I’ve fallen pretty hard for the quirks and flaws. I’ve become entranced by a scar, by a story, ultimately by character. I don’t know if we can help who we are attracted to. My friends say I have weird taste in guys (…whatever that means!) but I never made the conscious decision to want something different than those around me, it’s been a build up of my life experiences. My broken relationships have molded my desires and expectations for future relationships and for whatever reason those desires have been molded differently for me than for some of the people closest to me.
I’ve met some boys before and I’ve desperately wanted to like them. I’m intrigued by their story! I can talk to them so easily about intimate and personal matters of my heart. I can bare my soul! I’m inspired by their drive or sense of purpose…yet at the end of the day there isn’t a spark. And there should be a spark at the beginning at least. At the beginning I should want your knee to graze mine like a secret connection between us at the breakfast table. While I don’t expect any relationship to feel magical forever at the beginning it should feel magical. I want to fall asleep smiling as I think about someone. I want to find myself giggling like a weirdo at work in the middle of the day thinking about something he said the evening prior. I think that initial spark is important. I think butterflies mean something.
Is this spark mutually exclusive? I’ve definitely had guys I was NOT interested in make a move on me (and not in a creepy way, we were friends and they ended up liking me). I have found myself wondering “Does he feel a spark with me”? And if so…does that then deduce that sparks aren’t always mutual? When I think about pheromones and what I know about attraction (which keep in mind is very limited) I don’t understand attraction that isn’t mutual. Maybe I’m just in denial and still won’t consider any other scenario except that Chace Crawford will eventually meet me and fall madly in love (because he OBVIOUSLY would feel just as attracted to me as I am to him) but how common is unrequited attraction? It seems as if it should be less prevalent than unrequited love.
This whole “spark theory” I’m developing is a rabbit hole for my over analytical mind. I’ve started to wonder if the spark can ever be felt by both parties, equally, at the same time. I’m already pretty sure that all relationships are a balancing act of affection (which I don’t think is bad by the way) but certainly this idea of feeling adored versus feeling infatuated plays into whether or not you feel a spark?
Don’t mind me casually pretending to be Carrie Bradshaw over here. I certainly don’t have all (or any of) the answers when it comes to relationships but I am perpetually curios. Can someone please pay me to start analyzing and researching the nature of human companionship please? I think I’ve found my calling…but seriously.
How do you feel about “sparks” and “butterflies” and “fireworks”? Is it all a phony idea perpetuated by romance novels and Twilight movies or do you think the sparks mean something? Do you think sparks are necessary initially in a relationship & finally have you ever met someone who seemed “perfect for you on paper” but then discovered you weren’t attracted to them? I’m dying to hear your answers!
Happy Tuesday Pretty Peaches! I see sparks fly whenever you leave me blog comments (;