This week. Okay let me just say that one more time except imagine I’m utterly exhausted and exasperated “THIS WEEK”. I’ve seen the best of times (aka a holiday sleepover with the three beauties in the above photo) and the worst of times (see also Urinary tract infections, still holding onto a guy who won’t speak to me, the inability to fall asleep without crying, etc). As my three weeks of holiday “vacay” in Seattle comes to a close I will be heading to California to spend Christmas and New Years with my family in California (seriously THANK GOD because I can’t handle being away from Genevieve for one more minute). Cue Taylor Swift’s “Breathe” so I can sob about how life isn’t fair and I can’t breathe without Gen but I have to.
Regardless of overdramatic nights spent sobbing myself to sleep (because let’s face it no one with any sort of dignity should be crying themselves to sleep over a boy who is clearly like “GTFO of my life” it has actually been a successful finale to my at home vacation. I had two job interviews and was offered a job and called in for a second interview for the other one (thanks to this lovely lady who recommended me for it). I found an apartment; I drank a whole lot of champagne and hey last night I even fell asleep crying to my best friend Laura on the phone as opposed to most nights that I fall asleep crying to the sound of my dignity flying out the window. C’est la vie!
This little blog hasn’t been a place for documenting the magic and happiness of every day life recently has it? My pretty little header has been lying to you and for that I am truly apologetic. I try to keep things mainly positive around here even after break ups but for whatever reason this heartbreak threw me into a weirdly depressive state. I wouldn’t have imagined such a short lived romance would throw me off my manic-happy “I’M SO EXCITED TO BE BACK IN SEATTLE” pedestal so quickly but our hearts can be total assholes (pardon my french) if you ask me, and my heart in particular has been really playing mind games. As an added little fun fact: no one in my family has read my blog for literally like the past year (except you Gen, love you mean it) and guess when all of my family decided it would be a fun time to start following sweet fairy princess Jordyn’s blog? Oh you know just casually started reading as I cried out from the depths of despair for the past two weeks. So yes, I’ve been receiving phone calls just to make sure I’m not suicidal (which is appreciated of course) but I imagine this situation gives me the appearance of a boy-crazy, emotionally-unstable, lunatic. But actually the boy-crazy lunatic shoe fits so there you have it.
All of this babbling nonsense is amounting to something (er, sort of). Tonight I am supposed to meet with a certain someone to talk about things and hopefully (hopefully) get a little bit of closure that I’ve been insanely searching for for the past two weeks (bet you can’t guess who this mysterious elusive human I’m referencing is). However I have decided that no matter what (for instance if he cancels on me) when I leave Seattle for California I am done pushing. I will fly to California, cry all the tears I need to cry, write all the dramatic diary entries I need to write and when I come back to Seattle after the new year (even if I am still heart broken) I will move on. I will move into my new apartment and focus on hanging up pretty pictures and organizing my brand new walk in closet. I will dive head first into my new job (whatever it is) and I won’t focus on boys (for awhile at least) but on friendships.
Right now I am heart broken and even though it feels absoloutely pathetic I’m okay with it. I won’t be heartbroken forever though, and I won’t let heart break debilitate me.
I hope your day is filled with glitter and peppermint mochas and macaroons!