On the drive home from work yesterday I was flipping through my Aunt’s ipod (the only device I can get to work in the car I am using) and I stumbled across some old school Avril Lavigne. Back in fifth grade Avril was my jam. I befriended the only goth girl in my elementary school which was a little revolutionary as elementary school was the only time I was part of the “in” crowd and none of the popular girls seemed too pleased with my inclusive attitude. My new friend and I listened to Avril basically nonstop except for the times when we would secretly listen to Hilary Duff instead and I slowly incorporated my version of punk into my own style (enter the stage of my life when I dyed my hair bright red and told people I “liked the taste of blood”…shutter).
Flash forward and I’m no longer listening to Avril on a regular basis, just on rainy drives home from work when I am trying not to hyperventilate however I still can relate to Avril on a much deeper level. First and foremost we’ve both lived in Canada at some point in our lives, which I think makes us bleed Maple syrup or something similar. We also both have long blonde hair and the occasional affinity for heavy eyeliner. I’ll admit there are days when I embrace a middle school girl with her first set of makeup and go for the raccoon look, express yourself right? Avril and I both had a thing for skaters (although I’ve since moved on to nerds) and we both went through a punk stage. My punk stage ended when I reached high school and realized safety pins were not the only fashionable accessory available but if she still wants to work it I say “give the girl some safety pins”. Basically Avril and I have a lot in common. This is in no way meant to be bragging, as I’m sure you fully understand.
As Avril so boldly stated “Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated” and I currently am asking the same question of the universe. Here are just a few of the extremely complicated world issues I’m pondering this morning:
- Liquid eyeliner, why is it SO freaking difficult and why do I always end up looking like a crazed lunatic when I try to give myself Taylor Swift-esque cat eyed look?
- The human body, particularly mine…right now. I’m “blessed” in the sense that I only get my period twice a year. I’m not blessed in the sense that it decided to show up last night. If you’re wondering why this sucks…see yesterday’s post.
- The internet because I have no filter and I’m talking about my period on said internet which I’m sure I’ll regret at some point most likely when “blonde girl period blood” (or something of similar taste) shows up in the google search terms that lead to my blog.
- The Nespresso machine, because for some reason ours just stopped working and whenever we call Nespresso to try and fix it the service operator says they will call us back and then never do. HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT MY PRE-STARBUCKS MORNING COFFEE?
- Skateboarding, because I just watched the “Complicated” music video and was instantly transported back to my skater days. I still have scars on my knees from all the times I tried to skateboard in a jean skirt and completely ate it.
- Canadian Starbucks because for some reason even though I order the same thing every day it is always a different price and even though it really doesn’t matter it still somehow really bothers me. On that note…how difficult is it to put a flat lid on my iced mocha with no whipped cream? Why does my no whip mocha need a giant dome on the top of it and more importantly why does this bother me so much?
- Coding for computers and technology, because women in tech is a hot topic right now according to my two most trusted sources (Glamour and NPR) and I’m wondering why no one encouraged me to get into coding when they noticed my taste for luibuttons and glittery dresses. Thanks for pushing me towards my interest in history and writing and fashion world, my bank account loves me for it.
- Long distances because for whatever reason I don’t trust the Canadian postal service to deliver my letters and I miss my friends and my nanny babies and most importantly my puppy. I feel like more funding should have been placed into teleportation research as opposed to 3D printers. Just saying.
There’s my brain in list format. It’s not beautiful writing, it’s not filled with profound discoveries and it’s certainly not eloquent but as of right now I’m really just trying to laugh through my panic attacks and not have a completely insane nervous breakdown. So, there’s that.
Love you, mean it.