Rejection. To be honest dealing with rejection is the worst and can leave you feeling pathetic, unloved, and inadequate. Whether you are rejected by a guy, don’t make a team, or by your peers (ahem…I’m a social outcast) rejection can be a difficult cross to bear. Remembering that everyone, even the most intelligent, most beautiful and most popular people face rejection can help us to recognize that rejection (although painful) is simply a natural part of life. I do NOT have thick skin, I am very emotional so rejection can feel pretty dramatic for me sometimes. Up until recently I had a difficult time admitting I was ever rejected, I ignored my feelings and tried to brush them off like they were non existent. I don’t know about you but I think it’s a little hypocritical for someone with “This above all to thine own self be true” tattooed on them to start pretending their feelings don’t exist (I’m the one with that ink by the way #Hamlet). So instead of denying rejection I came up with 20 ways to face rejection and deal with it like a pro instead of wallowing in self pity and pretending I’m fine. So far my new tactic has been working a little better.
1. Create a list of all of the annoying things about him. If he really was Prince Charming (which obviously he wasn’t or else he wouldn’t be riding his white horse out of your life) you might have to force some of the items on your list (ex. “Job that pays suspiciously too well”) however once you get started I think you’ll find that negativity regarding your fairytale romance comes much more easily than you would have suspected (ex. “texted lol when he clearly wasn’t laughing out loud”, “wore stained cargo shorts to my sorority brunch”, “Refused to take my birthday month seriously”, etc.)
2. Listen to the most dramatic hateful break up songs you can find. I’ve found that the more over the top the song is for the situation the better. There’s no reason why “I hate everything about you” shouldn’t be considered the appropriate response to a guy who cancelled dinner plans with more than 24 hours notice.
3. Run until you officially have no feelings left. Step one start running, step two stop and test for feelings by looking through his Facebook profile photos, step three continue running until you physically do not have the energy to Facebook stalk let alone feel. I’ve found this tactic requires a “pick me up” protein shake afterwards or at the very least a mocha.
4. Make a list of all the guys Taylor Swift hasn’t worked out with, and remind yourself that if someone as fabulous as Taylor faces rejection then you can’t be as bad as you think.
5. Sign up for Tinder solely for the purpose of swiping left. You’ll never know whether those tindermen swiped right or not but for the sake of your mental sanity just assume they all wanted to get down on one knee with a Tiffany’s engagement ring right then and bask in the glory that comes with rejecting hundreds of men in the course of minutes.
6. Grab drinks and catch up with your girlfriends. Being around people who love you will help reassure you that you are enough even if you weren’t the perfect fit for a certain person or position or team.
7. Watch Sex and the City. Carrie Bradshaw is a relationship expert with a killer wardrobe and she’s still chain smoking alone in her apartment half the time. It’s a great reminder that even your role models (real and fictional) face rejection, you’re not a loser you’re just human.
8. Read through the inspirational quotes on Pinterest. There’s nothing like cheesy quotes slapped onto completely unrelated yet aesthetically pleasing photos to cheer you up and distract you. Thanks for the empowerment Pinterest!
9. Buy new shoes. I mean I would never suggest shopping as a means of distracting yourself from your true emotions except actually it is my favorite unhealthy addiction. Before you rush out to Nordstrom with your AMEX in hand set yourself a limit you can realistically afford. I find it even helps to take out your limit in cash (so you don’t over spend). If you tell yourself you are only allowed to spend $50 (or $20 or $500) you can treat yourself without buyers remorse later.
10. Create an inspiration board. I like to cut out beautiful photos from magazines, write down my favorite quotes and throw in some of my favorite photos with friends and family. Looking at so much positivity helps you to remember all of the good things you have going for you instead of focusing on the negative.
11. Spend time with children. Between cartwheel competitions, intense rounds of “Hot Lava Monster” and hours spent painting mermaids with watercolors you won’t have time to overanalyze why you were never “good enough” (P.S. you were). To top it all off you might just become some mini person’s hero, and nothing makes you more loved and accepted than when a little person stares up at you and says “I want to be just like you when I grow up“. MY. HEART. IS. MELTING.
12. Get a massage. Give yourself this time to overanalyze overanalyze overanalyze. I do some of my best thinking while getting a massage, it’s just quiet time to relax and revert into my head. I overanalyze every situation to death but usually end up falling asleep 20 minutes in anyways. When your treatment is over force yourself to STOP over thinking, you dedicated undivided time to your stress now dedicate undivided time to moving forward.
13. Go on a hike. When you evaluate how big and beautiful the world is you usually recognize how small and trivial your problem is in the grand scheme of things. Plus who can be sad when daisies and butterflies are abundant?
14. Watch Legally Blonde. As silly as it sounds Elle Woods is incredibly empowering! Ms. Woods comma Elle faces the ultimate rejection when her boyfriend breaks up with her and basically calls her a tacky bobble head. In the end Elle empowers herself and uses rejection to make herself a better person, I think it’s a positive lesson we can all learn from (while still laughing a little at the bend & snap). If you don’t have time to sit down and watch an entire movie I suggest downloading “So much Better” from the Legally Blonde the Musical soundtrack, it does the trick in a pinch!
15. Light Candles, lay in bed, turn on Lana del Rey. Sometimes a good solo cry sesh is all you need to validate yourself (and your very real feelings). Rather than hiding your emotions allow yourself to truly feel sad, rejected and hurt for an evening. Getting the sad out leaves room for happiness to come in!
16. Plan a trip. If you can financially afford it take the time to plan a vacation, weekend away or even a day trip. Since a trip forces you to look into the future your mindset will switch from the past to the future. Giving yourself something exciting to look forward to helps you feel progressive instead of depressed in the face of rejection.
17. Write thank you notes. Even if it wasn’t recently your birthday when “Thank Yous” are obligatory, you have reasons to be thankful! Send your bestie a card thanking her for always being there for you, write your Mom a letter thanking her for all of the life lessons she taught you that you now realize are so valuable. Write “Whathisname” a letter thanking him for reminding you how much you hate guys (just burn it don’t send it!). Brightening someone else’s day and reminding yourself why you are thankful makes rejection sting a bit less.
18. Sign yourself up for that meditation/yoga/dance class you have been dying to take. The more you focus on bettering yourself the less you worry about why you were rejected to begin with.
19. Put on a sassy outfit, fake eyelashes and your favorite lipstick. Go out and have a girls’ night, stay in and take selfies, take yourself out to dinner and pretend you’re a lonely movie star. It doesn’t really matter what you do, looking your best can temporarily help you to feel your best! Fake it until you make it right?!
20. Make a list of ways to cheer yourself up in the face of rejection. I don’t know how effective this is for everyone but hey, it worked for me!
How do you choose to handle rejection? Does it tend to bother you or are you used to it as a natural part of life?
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