I’m going to tell it like it is, I’ve been trying to become a better person. I’ve been striving to improve myself and taking itsy bitsy baby steps towards the person I want to become. Since graduating college on Saturday I’ve been thinking about what it means to be an adult. Technically I’ve been an adult for over 4 years now but we can all agree that college life particularly college life living in a sorority of fraternity hardly counts as real adulthood. I’ve been examing my self and measuring her up to the person I want to be, or rather, to become.
The person I want to be is so much less selfish than I. She listens before she speaks, she prioritizes others and she doesn’t act like her petty problems are the center of the universe. The person I want to be is intelligent. She reads the news (not just the entertainment section) and challenges herself to learn new skills and questions her old ways of thinking constantly. The woman I want to be is confident. She respects herself no matter what, and doesn’t feel the need to act out immaturely for attention. The woman I want to be is fun! She can spend the evening happily laughing and dancing with friends. She can make her date smile and she can let loose enough to not hyperventilate when the group is running 5 minutes behind.
As I have brainstormed ways to move more towards the type of person I want to be I’ve consequently thought a lot about personal development. How do we live life “conciounsly” rather than just letting life “happen to us”. I’ve decided it is all about balance. I want to be the Wonder Woman, but when you take a little you have to be willing to give a little too. Realistically I can’t do everything in one day, if I make a commitment to reading NPR every morning I’m simultaneously making a commitment not to read every single fashion and lifestyle blog I want to. Last night I was joking with a friend about the whole prioritizing balancing act.
“I know I’m trying to jog more but at what cost?! I’ve started noticing I’m dropping my phone more often and I know the correlation can’t be a coincidence,” I joked. While I am aware my commitment to fitness by no means makes me more clumsy I can’t help but think there is always a little bit of sacrfice involved right?! Since becoming single my social life has hot a new high (which doesn’t say much but still) however my relationship with netflix, staying on top of laundry (and yes, even blogging) have declined. Coincidental? I think not!
As I progress forward into adulthood I have set a few small goals for myself. I don’t know exactly who I want to be 10 years from now (or even 5 minutes from now) but I also don’t want to just allow life to “happen” without actively carving out a person I can be proud of. So I’ve created a little “mantra” to motivate me! Here it is:
Friends are more important than money, more important than boys and usually more important than a full 8 hours of sleep. Self respect is the most important kind of respect and it will prevent you from letting ANYONE steal your soul and breaking you into someone you don’t want to be. Remind yourself of your flaws to keep you humble, but meditate on the parts of your soul that make you beautiful and wonderful. Be gracious and grateful. Vegetables are good but ice cream is also good. Don’t text under the influence of champagne but when you do laugh at yourself. The ability to laugh at yourself is the best gift you can give to yourself. Take time everyday to write, living an examined life helps to live in the moment and appreciate the loveliness of now. Be good to people, be good to the people who aren’t good to you. Know what is going on in the world, outside of your social circle, outside of your bubble. Believe in love but don’t always follow your heart (your heart can be pretty stupid sometimes). When it rains create your own sunshine. Take the time to cry, there is no weakness in raw emotion. Be quiet and listen more often than feels natural. Embrace growing up and frolic into the world happily instead of fearing it!
of course I want more from life than the items listed but it’s a good start no? What would your personal mantra say?