DO take the time to do something little like painting your nails or wearing your favorite perfume, it will make you feel more confident.
DON’T fish for compliments or play into your date’s fishing for compliments. It’s just insincere and weird.
DO tell a friend where you are going and who you are going with especially if you don’t know your date well. People who lived and worked with Ted Bundy were surprised to find out he was a crazy serial killer, just saying.
DON’T pretend to watch tv shows you don’t watch/listen to music you don’t like/care about causes you don’t even know about. Just be yourself, why do you want to date someone who doesn’t like who you really are?!
DO drive yourself as opposed to having your date pick you up…it makes it easier to leave if you happen to be with a psycho or just have a horrible time.
DON’T check your phone continuously. It’s the digital age and your date should understand if you check your phone once or twice but unless there is an emergency there is no excuse for constantly texting.
DO calm down and just be yourself. Your date wants to like you (and is probably just as nervous as you).
DON’T be afraid to talk about your accomplishments. You’re a cool person, how will your date know that you’re a cool person unless you tell them about the cool things you’ve done.
DO avoid bragging. If you can’t tell the difference between telling an interesting fact or story and bragging practice on a friend or something.
DON’T tell your date “You look really good in the dark”…this compliment ALWAYS comes off the wrong way, sorry.
DO have a drink, let yourself relax a little bit.
DON’T drink the entire bar/to the point where you can’t walk/are slurring your words. This is dangerous both for your ego and physical safety.
DO sneak off to the bathroom and text your Best Friend to tell her how it’s going…there’s nothing wrong with that.
DON’T text your date beforehand saying “I can’t wait to hug you”…too soon, too awkward.
DO research where you are going and the weather if you will be outside. I always hate to be over/under dressed.
DON’T show up 45 minutes early and then sit in your car brainstorming everything that could possibly go wrong…it’s better to be late than a nervous wreck.
DO give your date 15 minutes to warm up to you, if the date is still really uncomfortable it’s okay to decide you won’t be sticking around to chat over dessert.
DON’T wear uncomfortable shoes, a first date has enough potential to be uncomfortable you don’t want to have to worry about your feet.
DO ask questions, everybody likes to talk about themselves. The ideal date should cause you to walk away feeling like YOU are more interesting.
DON’T shush your date so you can watch the baseball/football/hockey/whatever game. Um, rude.
DO pay attention to social cues. If you’ve been talking about Taylor Swift’s personal style for twenty minutes and your date’s eyes appear to be glazing over it may be time to change the subject.
DON’T mention all the other guys you are dating, I’m all for honesty, it’s okay to say you’re seeing other people but the specifics is just bragging.
DO Facebook stalk your date a little bit but…
DON’T go overboard, you’re essentially just making sure this person isn’t a raving lunatic psychopath not memorize the name of all of his exes, his favorite musicians and sense of style from middle school.
DO offer to pay for your own food. If he pays (which he probably will), cool, say “Thank You”. Just always be prepared to pay for your own food, coffee, drink, whatever, it shows you aren’t an entitled B-word.
DON’T feel like you have to order salad. Why is this even a rule?!
DO laugh at yourself. You’re bound to do something slightly embarrassing or awkward, laughing at your own mistakes and blunders shows confidence.
DON’T talk about an ex. If you find yourself accidentally talking about an ex, STOP. If you find yourself accidentally talking about an ex again, STOP. If you find yourself accidentally talking about an ex AGAIN, STOP and go home because you’re clearly not over your ex.
DO bring a jacket…every time. Wouldn’t you rather have it if it somehow starts hailing or the temperature drops 15 degrees or you spill on your top and you’re embarrassed and want to cover it up.
DON’T feel the need to talk about your marriage timeline, how many children you hope to have,etc. This is a first date, this is potentially the first time you have ever spoken to this person one on one…this comes on much too strong.
DO be open to someone who is different than anyone you’ve ever dated. Clearly whoever you dated before isn’t around for a reason, maybe someone different is EXACTLY what you need.
DON’T feel like you owe your date anything, no matter how expensive dinner was or if he brought you flowers or bought you a concert ticket or a diamond ring or a backstage pass to meet Taylor Swift. It doesn’t matter, you’re a person and your affection cannot be bought, duh!
& Most importantly remember YOU ARE AN EFFING PLEASURE, any guy (or girl) is lucky to be on a date with you! Don’t let your date place expectations on you, or make you feel bad about yourself. If your date is belittling you and making you feel unworthy he is NOT a good date and you don’t want to like him anyways (for real though). I’m not one for dating rules but in my opinion he should text you afterwards telling you what a joy it was to be graced with your presence (or you know just something like “It was fun having drinks with you”), it’s called manners.
What are your first date “DOs and DON’Ts”? Do any of you feel like first date pros? Like is it possible to not feel so nervous your think you might throw up before? Asking for a friend…
P.S. Can you tell I’ve been trying to be a fashion blogger lately. I don’t think I’m any more fashionable, I have just been so motivated to go outside because of the lovely weather. I think I would be the happiest person in the world if the sun would shine like this a little more often.
All Photos taken by the lovely Jeff Henkel and his fancy schmancy camera.