Why hello there, don’t mind me I’ve just been a dysfunctional mess over here. I’m normally the girl whose in bed by 10:00 on a Friday night and awake by 7:30am the next morning ready to play all day, however, due to recent life events I’ve become…for lack of a better description, A “Hot Mess”. The funny part is there really isn’t anything hot about it, but we all know I’m a bit narcissistic so why not let me flatter myself a bit?
Do you have your life completely together all the time, if so you should probably just leave as you’re not invited on this crazy train…or you can stay and feel free to judge, whatever you decide.
Ten Signs you’ve already boarded the Hot Mess Express:
1. You didn’t brush your hair today, or yesterday, and maybe not even the day before.
2. You can’t remember the last time you put real food in your mouth but the amount of caffeine in your blood stream is making you act like a coke addict.
3. You find yourself forgetting which side of the road you’re supposed to drive on, and strangely unconcerned about it.
4. You have sent or received snap chats taken while peeing.
5. You spent thirty minutes walking around searching for where you parked your car only to realize you’ve passed it twice.
6. Holding back the hair of your puking friend has become weirdly sentimental and therapeutic.
7. It’s normal to talk to random strangers about your emotional disturbances and potential personality disorders, yes?
8. And then there’s that random bump on your head and swollen ankle…stuff like that happens in your sleep all the time I suspect.
9. Speaking of sleep, it’s just been more appealing in the daytime on your bedroom floor.
10. Not only are you not worthy of being a fashion blogger but you’re probably not even worthy of an instagram selfie. If this black tank top looked cute yesterday it will look cute today too, and potentially tomorrow.
Hopefully you were able to keep yourself off the Hot Mess Express this weekend. I had a brief lapse in judgement and anti-Fairy Princess like behavior (as Hannah Montana would say “Nobody’s Perfect”) but plan on gaining back my mental sanity and dignity this week.