You know how there are those girls who can just chill with a group of guys and drink a beer and talk about the latest Captain America movie and how hot Kate Upton is and like baseball statistics or something. Well…I’m not one of those girls (surprise, surprise). There are a lot of words that could be used to describe me, however, I’m fairly certain no one who knows me would add “chill” or “one of the guys” to that list.
I’ve compiled a list of a few ways I’ve noticed I’m really just not “one of the guys”…
1. The thought of drinking beer makes me want to vom, it’s like what I imagine cat pee would taste like.
2. And then I say words like “vom” and “totes” and for some reason guys think that’s funny when I’m totes not trying to be funny.
3. I’m annoyed when someone doesn’t pick up on my Taylor Swift lyrical references or can’t compare people at the bar to Gossip Girl characters #boring.
4. Guys always seem to bring up movies or TV shows and there’s a 99.9% chance I haven’t seen whatever they’re talking about. I mean just because I have a dragon tattoo does not mean I’ve seen “Game of Thrones”, or “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” for that matter.
5. No, I don’t want to hear about that totally ratchet girl you hooked up with. If she’s totally ratchet why did you hook up with her? I’ve lost all faith in humanity by this point.
6. When I tell you I’m moving to Baltimore I don’t want to hear about “The Wire”, are you trying to induce more serial killer nightmares than I already have?
7. Guys are really interested in my blog, until I tell them it’s called “The Fairy Princess Diaries”. Um…that should make it more interesting.
8. Guy friends just don’t appreciate the effort I put into my outfit, or the fact that I’m wearing four inch heels. APPRECIATE MY HARD WORK AND SUFFERING!
9. Why are you complimenting my crappy top from Forever 21 and not complimenting my over priced Tory Burch shoes? Why is it making me so irritated?
10. If someone starts talking about their car, or a cool car or anything to do with cars my eyes immediately glaze over.
11. My dream car is a pink Prius and I’m not even slightly embarrassed by that.
12. If I’m the only girl in the group who is supposed to go to the bathroom with me?! Talk about a sad and lonely existence.
13. I get really irritated when guys refer to a girl as a “slut”, even if I don’t know her I’m oddly and aggressively defensive of her behavior and life choices.
14. I want to request that “22” be played at every restaurant and/or bar I choose to grace with my presence. Guy friends won’t sing a long and dance to it with me #why.
15. Also please understand that it is sometimes necessary to take selfies. It is also sometimes necessary to take five to ten selfies until you get the perfect one.
16. If I have a cute outfit on, chances are I’m going to ask a random stranger to take a picture of us together. If they take a horizontal photo instead of vertical…yeah, we’re going to need to redo that.
17. One of my favorite topics of conversation is potential Halloween costumes, for some reason guys don’t seem to have thoroughly thought out next years outfit yet…which is weird because Halloween is only 6 months away.
18. If one of my earrings falls out it most certainly a tragedy and I expect you to help me look for it, and to be just as devastated as I am when we can’t find it.
19. I really don’t like feeling judged when I use a million napkins to de-grease my pizza, this isn’t a health concern, I’m not worried that I’m fat, greasy pizza just really grosses me out.
20. Guys don’t understand being a vegetarian, and if you ever mention you don’t eat meat you can expect a long rant about how much you are “missing out”. If I felt like I was missing out I would just start eating meat again, simple as that.
I’ve pretty much decided I’m more of a “Girl’s Girl”. I probably won’t ever have a core group of guy friends and I’m cool with that. However if you know any guys looking for someone to talk to a girl about wardrobe choices, instagram filters and how stupid guys are at texting….feel free to send them my way for a coffee date.
How do you identify yourself in terms of friendships? Are you one of the guys, a girl’s girl or somewhere in between?