It’s here, it’s here, it’s finally here! Today is the day you can officially watch Catching Fire on DVD instead of forcing your boyfriend or tech savvy friend to illegally download the bootlegged copy for you. Which obviously I haven’t needed to do since I watched the movie three times in theaters but probably other people who weren’t as dedicated of fans as me had to do.
Before you rush out to buy your copy of Catching Fire and curl up into a ball and cry when Katniss and Peeta visit district 11, I have a little story to tell you about this super psycho friend I have who was overly obsessed with The Hunger Games.
Once upon a time there was a tanorexic college sophomore, she was the perfect personification of “happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time” as she had recently broken up with her boyfriend of four years and threw herself whole heartedly into a Hunger Games obsession. Normal right? It was Spring semester and all seemed right in the world. Mainly because she was somehow able to afford an unlimited tanning package and two Jimmy John’s sandwiches a day while also maintaining her status as unemployed sorority girl, a college miracle if I dare say so myself.
Well, happy, lonely, overly tanned leather-couch looking sorority girl wanders into a party one Friday evening (sounds like a disaster waiting to happen no?). At this point she had just read The Hunger Games for the second or third time in two months so the plot line was fresh on her mind. How she managed to reread the same book that many times in such a short time is beyond my comprehension…oh yeah, she didn’t have a job, so…there’s that.
My friend, leather Hunger Games girl, was busy prancing around the frat party and demanding Ke$ha songs and what not like any normal 20 year old when out of nowhere PEETA MELLARK hit her like a big yellow school bus. No, no, no, not the Josh Hutcherson “version” of Peeta but like the exact image of Peeta she’d envisioned as she read. As if this silly frat boy had just hopped right out of her mental characterization and was now serving jello shots instead of baked goods.
She immediately became obsessed with real live blue eyed baker. I mean…it could obviously not be a coincidence that she happened to find herself in the presence of the bread making, rock throwing, “real or not real” uttering book character who was now innocently chatting with other party goers within the sticky walls of a frat house right? Like a
lion hunting an antelope career tribute hunting the youngest and smallest in the games, once her prey was in sight there wasn’t much you could do to stop her.
When her subtle hints that she hoped to reenact the entirety of The Hunger Games series didn’t seem to be doing the trick, she realized it was time for to take matters into her own hands (loosely interpreted by some as stalking). It’s fairly difficult to ignore a stalker when they’re trailing behind you uttering endearing phrases such as “Don’t leave me because I’ll find you” or “I wish I could freeze this moment in time and live in it forever”. However, there are times that these tactics do not produce the desired result. As a seasoned stalker our dear friend realized she would have to resort to non stop texting and delightful homemade gift giving if she hoped to progress.
Were there people that stepped in and said to this girl “Hey you’re being a little crazy, maybe you should lay off a little“? Certainly. Were there even more people that warned her poor innocent victim (who was, spoiler alert, not actually named Peeta, nor did he actually bake bread) to “turn and run“? Probably. However, for those of you with no real life experience in the matter, you should note that there is very little you can do outside of a restraining order when a borderline crazy obsessive stalker walks into your life. I can imagine for a college aged male, lines may become a bit blurred when a college aged female bats her fake eyelashes at you and shrieks when you say silly little nonsensical phrases like “real or not real“. I mean who doesn’t love to feel loved? Nonetheless, this girl, my friend, was off the wall crazy.
I could tell you more about this mentally insane hunger games obsessed girl but there are certain stories involving people throwing up on other people that really shouldn’t grace the pages of the internet. However, if you imagine the worst possible throw up scenario and then try and imagine a scenario ten times worse…well, that probably gives you a vague idea of what happened.
By now you’re probably thinking “wow Jordyn,this girl is a freaky stalker, why are you even friends with her?“. Well…I have a confession, I AM THAT GIRL. I know it’s difficult to imagine such a classy and well compiled girl loosing her mind over a self proclaimed Hunger Games character and loosing herself to the world of obsessing and stalking. I’m not saying I’m proud but is it really fair for anyone to be forced to live a lie? Hopefully we can still be friends.
I mean have you ever christened a guy you just met as a character from your favorite book and continued to stalk him for like…way too long? Obviously no judgement from me.