I’m going to be completely honest, this week has been one heck of a crazy emotional roller coaster. I squealed with excitement with all of the positive comments/responses to this post earlier this week. I laid in bed for two hours curled in a ball crying just the next day. I felt famous for all of five minutes when Ban.do regrammed one of my photos on instagram (nerdy) and then when I landed an interview for an internship I desperately want (it’s on Tuesday, send me all your good vibes) just hours after a full on mental breakdown stressing about the future. I don’t know what to say other than…it’s just been one of those weeks.
My complete lack of emotional stability has caused me to retreat inwards a bit. I’m an analyzer and if there is something in my life to be analyzed you can bet I will over-think it to death. So I’ve been thinking about happiness. What is happiness? How is happiness different than contentment? How can happiness be measured? Is happiness ever “achieved”?
Of course, I’ve formulated some of my own theories about happiness in general or at the very least, my happiness. My first “theory” per say is that happiness most definitely IS a choice. Not only can you choose to be optimistic in any given situation but happiness is a choice in the sense that it is necessary to take control of your life and choose the life that makes you happy. Choose to love yourself. Choose to chase your dreams. Choose to spend time with the people you love. Choose to ignore negativity. Choose to listen to Taylor Swift on repeat until you’ve cried all the tears your body can physically muster up so you can finally just CHOOSE to be happy.
My second, and frankly, much more intriguing theory is that happiness in an illusion. I think a big part of our happiness stems from our perceptions of our own futures. When we believe our future (2 days from now or 2 years from now) is bleak and hopeless and miserable, we cannot be happy. However, when we can envision happiness in the future we are happy in the now. Since the future is most uncertain (even for the type a planners out there) this perception is ultimately an illusion. It raises an interesting challenge…how can we appreciate our lives and live happily while still pushing ourselves to do more and be more in the future? I think it’s possible but a constant struggle for balance.
Am I making sense here? It’s Friday and I stayed out late and slept next to my bestie in the top bunk at a sorority last night (aka 2 full grown girls in a twin bed) so maybe my mind is a little bit clouded from the physical exhaustion…not to mention emotionally exhausted.
Do you have any theories about happiness? What are you doing this weekend that makes you happy? I’m having a sleepover with my wonderful best friend Laura tonight and hopefully eating a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s so I’m thinking I’ll be pretty happy.
P.S. I have been AWFUL about responding to emails this week and I am SO sorry. It has been a crazy week and I just have not been on top of it. I pinky promise I’m going to get it together and be back in full swing by Monday. Please don’t hate me.