I’ve been thinking about this post for a long time, and by a long time I mean the past few hours and I’ve been trying to find a way to voice my opinion without sounding like a total b-word. I decided I can’t. While drafting a blog post last night I was browsing the internet for inspiration, sure, I had lots of ideas scrawled out among my notes for school about topics I wanted to blog about but somehow they all seemed too serious. I blogged about something “real” and “serious” and “close to my heart” yesterday. According to the implied rules of blogging that meant I shouldn’t write about something not so serious today, unless I wanted to come across as boring, or whiney…or everyone’s favorite 8th grade buzzword, “emo”.
Subconsciously I recognized that a deep post about my relationship/morals/problems yesterday should equate to a bubbly concise post about Justin Bieber today. The thought of writing about the Biebs made me want to vom, and not because of him, because of me. Suddenly I was
mad pissed off.
Why should I have to blog about Justin Bieber when I could care less what the stupid kid is doing? Why should I give up writing about the topics that truly come from my soul, that make me think, and that free my mind as soon as I capture their essence and transform them into words (even if it’s rather sloppily). I didn’t want to compile “Pretty Little Liars” gifs and relate them to my life. Or prostitute out my blog, the one place in the world I am free to share anything and everything my heart desires to the world of buzzfeed by adding yet another list of “Lessons every twenty-something should learn” or “Problems every twenty-something has” or “Items every college student should splurge on” to the internet. #idgaf
No one was handing me a paycheck and telling me what to write about, so why did I feel trapped by the the notion that as a wannabe blogger it was my job to mass produce internet junk?!
As much as I love to show up to this site and word vom all over this little white box for the simple sake of freeing my mind, another part of me is quite obviously motivated by the external validation (or else…wouldn’t I just keep a private diary?). When I write about Gossip Girl, or Taylor Swift, or use seizure inducing gifs I get the validation I so desperately crave (comments! page views! new followers! Oh my!). When I write about my problems, my internal struggles and you know…the real world, sometime it’s validated and sometimes…sometimes it’s a total bust.
It’s the difference between a catchy song and a well written song. It’s the difference between “We are never ever getting back together” and “All to well” to put it in terms of Taylor Swift, which, you know, why not?! Catchy songs pump you up, they make you want to dance, they get stuck in your head all day long (whether you like it or not). But I don’t think my place in the blogger world is to be a “catchy song”, not right now anyways.
I guess what I’m trying to say is simple. I want this blog to be a place to write about the things in life that mean something to me. The Bachelor doesn’t mean anything to me, Jennifer Lawrence isn’t my role model, and I really couldn’t care less about the stupid Kardashians. I like to write in paragraphs, not bullet points&for godssake I would rather include a stupid selfie than a pinterest photo…EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I hope we can still be friends despite my imperfections.
Happy Friday pretties!