There’s this attitude that modesty is equated with self respect, and while I have no doubt in my mind that there are many modest and self respecting people out in the world, I think this view is polarized and even a bit egocentric. I notice this “perception” all year round, but especially around Halloween when there is this constant debate going around about “wearing revealing costumes vs. not wearing revealing costumes”. Here’s the thing…why does it matter?!
You can dress like a nun, and I can dress like a french maid and we can both love babies, save the rainforest and go home and love our one and only significant other.
I know, I know, to big percent of the population this is a source of moral crisis. It’s the one night of the year that all of these poor and innocent girls are forced to objectify themselves…or oh no, even worse, it’s the night that all of these lustful, twerking, MILEY WORSHIPING, skanks prance around in their underwear…the horror! That’s right, these girls are CHOOSING to parade around half naked because they “need attention/can’t find a decent man/are insecure/have daddy issues/etc”…there are a thousand reasons out there…the bottom line is they’re just skanky sluts. The best solution is to start a moral crusade and save their blackened souls before they’ve completely tainted their pure and naive womanly souls.
Okay, that was a little dramatic right?! But every time I see another post about how horrible Halloween is because of all the slutty costumes…I feel as if I’m going to rip my hair out. I read these long winded posts from these 23 year old married women who wear their cute little conservative dresses and already have a baby and a house payment and live their days making dinner and cleaning the house for their husband’s to come home with the check to pay the bills. They want a nuclear family, they want to work part time or as a stay at home mom (which is HARD work, I’m not saying it isn’t), they want to raise children, whatever, that’s fabulous! If you want that life, I have no problem with it! But I think that something needs to be said from the opposite end of the spectrum, and on that note…I speak for the “Sluts”.
The problem I have is that these self righteous young wives and mothers seem to have a narrow view of what it means to have respect for yourself. To me, self respect is all about staying true to who I am and what I believe in. It’s about following my own moral code, and confidence in who I am (isn’t that actually the literal definition of Self-Respect).Therefore, by my definition, allowing someone else to tell me that showing my body is shameful, and thus telling me what to wear…well I see that as a lack of self respect…I see that as, dare I say it… “objectification”.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with a woman’s body. I don’t think I’m wrongfully tempting men by showing it. I think this “Modest is Hottest” movement is just as much of an objectification of women for the sake of men as revealing costumes. And sorry bout it but I refuse to base my clothing choices off of someone else’s inability to control themselves. “Slut bashing” has just become an excuse for men not to take responsibility for their own feelings and actions. I know I’m not a man, but there is no way I can believe these “good Christian/Muslim/Buddhist/Atheist/Jewish/etc men” loose all control and morals when they see a woman in a halloween costume…and if they do, they’re not so good after all. I think it’s possible to feel lustful, yet at the same time,…not act on that lust.
ACTUALLY, I know it is. Every time I walk into Nordstrom I’m filled, I mean seriously overflowing, with lustful thoughts about every pair of boots in the place. I want the black leather ones, I want the blue suede booties, I want the gray suede and the brown ones with the aztec pattern! I want to touch them and wear them, and stare at them all day long. I literally sit there and visualize how much better my life would be with each and every pair (hey, I never claimed not to be crazy). My lust for clothing knows no bounds! Yet, I don’t deviously steal them all, or max out my credit card so I can fulfill my lust. Nope, it’s a little thing called self control, and even though I’m not perfect, I overspend sometimes, I’m not asking that society not expose me to boots. Well, to be crass, the same can be said about boobs, and legs and shoulders/stomachs/buts/eyes/hips…whatever.
Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up in liberal Washington, maybe it’s because I’ve watched too many episodes of “Girl’s Next Door”, or maybe it’s because Miley’s infamous twerking really didn’t phase me but I don’t feel that exposing any part of our bodies expresses our fidelity, our sexual desire, or our moral fiber. I don’t think what we wear makes us “skanks” or “whores”. And I refuse to be told that the amount of skin I do or don’t show, and the attraction men do or don’t feel for me determines who I am as a person, in any sense.
The scariest part of the year, for me, isn’t Halloween, it’s that it’s 2013 and women are still expected to base their dress on men. Ew.
Tell me I’m a whore, and why you think so. As my good friend Voltaire would say “I do not agree with a word you have to say, but I will defend to the death you’re right to say it”.
P.S. Happy Halloween! I hope everyone has a wonderful fun filled night no matter what you choose to wear (or not wear)! (;