Sometimes life doesn’t go according to plan and for me, a “type a” “I can’t live without my planner and calendar and post it note reminders” freak…well life not going according to plan can be tough. One of my biggest flaws, is that I am a complete control freak. Not only do I proclaim myself as leader/project planner of anything/everything but I truly have a truly difficult time when I don’t get my way. It doesn’t get more bratty than that does it?! I’m not proud of this trait but I can’t understand the lack of persistence on behalf of others. I can understand compromising on which movie to see Friday night, where to go on vacation and even when it comes to shopping (I guess I don’t need a new outfit for every occasion that will be documented on my blog…) But when it comes to what I consider “real life” aka the important things, I’m not much of a compromiser. In fact, I’m exactly the opposite and despite the fact that this has led to some pretty nasty insults from people who matter to me, I can’t help but feel that being a stubborn control freak isn’t always a bad thing.
Just recently I was called a “self absorbed princess” and at first it felt like such an insult. It stung and to be honest it broke me down. I cried, at work (totally unprofessional but thats the perk of being a nanny right?!)and I laid in bed wondering what kind of person I am and wondering what I could do to change. But as I tried to laugh off the comment, someone I respect reminded me “what do you think Kate (Middleton) does when someone calls her a princess?! Do you think she acts offended like its some sort of bad word” (not a direct quite here but you get it. And I started to think. It’s true, I am a princess. I spend way too much money on shoes and I have way too little money in savings. I care too much about the sparkle on my tiara and way too little about what’s happening with the NSA or if Seattle allows anymore “apodments” to be built. And maybe I should care more other the world is turning into my favorite book (1984) but I don’t. And I can’t force myself too. It’s natural for me to get worked up over neglected children and homeless puppies and undereducated women but it’s not me to care about taxes. Tax me, don’t tax me. I don’t care. I care about my family and friends more than anything and the kids I nanny, they might as well have come from my own ovaries because I care for them so much and they drive me completely insane at the same time.
I guess my point is that I do get wrapped up in the glitter and the sparkles (I can’t stop myself from lusting over those tory burch riding boots or the Tiffany’s engagement ring I dream of wearing on my finger one day) but I think I know what’s important. I think I’m a nice person and I don’t think being a champagne snob or a lululemon addict takes away from that.
p.s. please try and forgive any spelling and grammar issues here. I’ve been writing this blog on my phone and I swear WordPress is being impossible. I’ll fix it when I get home (maybe).