If you immediately read the title of the post and flashed back to your middle school days of rocking out to Blink 182, well, I’m really happy. This post really has very little to do with Blink 182 other than my choice to outwardly
steal use the title of one of their songs as my starting point (so if you’re here for 90s punk rock than I’m afraid you should probably leave).
Lately I’ve been pondering the small things. I’ve been sort of lingering on them. The way my dog pounces around happily in full on play mode when I walk in the front door, even if I’ve only left to take out the garbage or the way my mood is instantly brightened when my favorite barista at Starbucks remembers my name (it’s spelled with a “y”) and my drink (grande iced mocha with soy, no whipped cream). It’s silly nicknames and teasing among friends, my last thoughts before drifting off to sleep as Jeff runs his fingers through my hair (which he does every single night until I fall asleep). It’s a weird sense of nostalgia, as if I’m beginning to miss these moments before they’re even gone, as if they’re already distant memories. Does anyone else worry about wasting the present? About forgetting to appreciate the beautiful moments that will soon be gone? I’m sure I’m not the only one!
I’m a very nostalgic person, you can see it in this blog, you can see it in the dozens of pictures cluttering the walls of my teeny tiny apartment (Jeff likes to say it’s like living in a sorority house, and to be honest it sort of is). With each passing day I cling to memories, people and ideas that I’m not ready to give up, like sleepovers, being young enough to confidently paint my nails with brightly colored glitter, my zany (naughty) puppy, long summer days, I’m already dreading my roots growing out and my next trip to the salon (and I just had them done yesterday).
The point is that the moments are fleeting, even the bad ones. Anna Nalik was right in that famous song, life is like an hourglass glued to the table. I can’t believe I have already been in college for three years…what?!?! I remember my first night laying alone, and scared in my dorm room and feeling like the tiniest speck of dirt in the darkest corner of the universe (not in a bad way, just everything was new and different and I was so small and so alone).
As always Taylor knows exactly how to describe my feelings, “Never Grow up” is one of my favorite songs on Speak Now. I’m pretty sure I actually cried the first time I listened to it, she released it my first year of college and it was so fitting, it was as if she had written it for me (which of course she did because we’re best friends…). My point is that time passes, whether we’re enjoying it, whether or not we’re present in the moment it is slipping away. I say this not to be depressing but just as a constant reminder to simply recognize when you’re happy (or mad or sad or nervous or exited) and just let yourself fully be THAT feeling.
Jordyn Life Lessons, my future children are in for a treat!
P.S. I’ve been receiving so much blog love lately and I am so grateful! Your sweet emails and comments mean the world to me and fill my day with sunshine and happiness! I always have a hard time believing my family and closest friends want to read my blog let alone people in far away places who have never met me. Your support means the world. Sorry for the Miss America speech, but I really do mean it!