Life lately has been pretty cool. Yesterday I was paid to have a picnic and do cartwheels because it’s summer and little babies like to go to the park and have me put on gymnastics shows for them.
Then I went on a fabulously long hike with one of my best friends and sorority sister, Allison. It was steep and probably would have been difficult for some people but we’re really in shape so it was no sweat and we practically just ran up the whole thing. We didn’t even need our snacks at the top…but we ate them anyways.
Allison is leaving for California at the end of the month which is really just a few short days away if you really think about it. Lately it seems as if everyone who is anyone is moving to California. My big moved down to L.A. to be an actress, Allison’s going to grad school, My Aunt and Uncle are opening a restaurant there, My Dad’s moving down to work at the restaurant…(p.s. I don’t think I will ever be able to spell restaurant without spell check). I’m not bitter or anything but I might be starting to take it personally and I’m sort of starting to think, WHAT DOES CALIFORNIA HAVE THAT WASHINGTON DOESN’T?!?!
If your answer is “Sunshine”, I say “who cares”. Melanoma is at an all time high and I bet it’s especially bad in California. I know those Californians aren’t putting on sunscreen every single day, I bet they’re peeling like little red lobsters. I bet they’re so unhappy and just wishing for rain to water their brown front lawns and I bet they are heartbroken that they have virtually no use for multiple pairs of hunter rainboots and northface rain jackets.
If your answer is “movie stars”…well Washington totally has tons of famous people. I’m listening to a Macklemore song right now. He seems like a pretty chill dude, and he’s singing about the sounds of the city on Capitol Hill. I can walk to Capitol Hill and hear those sounds, how poetic is that? There are about a billion songs about Beverly Hills and the Hollywood Hills, so overdone, so cliche. Not even original at all. The lead singer of Death Cab…he hangs out in Seattle. Or what about Kurt Cobain, I know he’s dead and all but I’m pretty sure he’d rather be dead in Seattle than dead in California.
If your answer is amazing grad schools and wineries and restaurants and opportunities, no! No! No! I hate California and everything about it! It’s stupid and I hate it and it ruins everything!
As you can see, I’m feeling like the jealous ex girlfriend that just spotted her man with some hot young yoga instructor with a trust fund and perfect hair. I think I’ll go cheer myself up in the only way I know how…a shopping spree at Forever 21 for my trip to California this weekend. Don’t judge though,
I vow to be miserable the entire time and show everyone in the whole state just how unhappy their pathetic lives are compared to my perfect one in washington or I’ll just have the time of my life and cry myself to sleep every night until I can move to California…one or the other, I’ll just play it by ear.