Hi World! I haven’t been on this blog in what feels like forever, and as crazy and busy as life has been, I’ve really missed it. However, as much as I’ve missed writing this blog, today isn’t about me. Today is about my dog Boo, you may have heard of her before…she’s kind of a big deal. She even has her own hashtag on instagram (#theyolodog). As the hashtag implies she likes to live on the edge. Sometimes she tears of cabinet doors, sometimes she shreds duvets and rolls in the feathers and sometimes she covers the apartment in flour (making cookies? redecorating?). Reccently she’s been complaining that I’ve given her a bad reputation on this blog, she’s in the typical bratty teenager stage and she wants to do everything her way all the time…so I finally agreed to let her guest post on my blog and…voila!
I should probably begin by introducing myself but unless you’re new around here and intro probably isn’t necessary. My mom is obviously OBSESSED with me and while I can’t blame her…it really gets rather annoying. I’m going to be 3 years old in September and she still treats me like a 6 week old puppy. My friends at the doggy park would laugh if I didn’t already have such a prestigious reputation as sort of a rebel rouser. My Dad really gets me, he lets me lay on the bed all day and watch Arrested Development and eat treats. He even makes me bacon (none of this gross all natural vegetarian dog kibble my mom has tried to force on me).Sorry, I seem to be getting a little carried away, what I want to tell you about is the wild and crazy week that somehow amounted into a whirlwind trip to the vet and an awful lot spoonfuls of peanut butter (quite mysterious in my opinion).
It all started when my Mom, Dad and I took a little trip down to my Grandma’s. I love my Grandma’s house. First of all there are two other dogs there, second of all there are lots of treats and third of all there are tennis balls everywhere. I can’t control myself around tennis balls. I’d love to take lessons but my selfish mom spends all her money on Starbucks and Lululemon so there are no tennis lessons for me. I swear I could be the next Airbud.
The next day my Mom and Dad packed me into the car again. For some unknown reason my mom was in one of her grumpy moods (and she calls me a brat…) so I decided to just take a little nap in the backseat until we were back home in Seattle. When I awoke, I couldn’t have been more surprised. We weren’t in the dimly lit parking garage of our apartment, we weren’t even back at Grandma’s House…we were out in the wilderness!
Of course the first thing they did was tie me up. Didn’t they understand there was danger all around? I could hear evil lurking in the trees. I could smell a treacherous plot unfolding. I growled, I let out a bark (rare as I am usually more of a thinker and a listener than a speaker), I may have even whimpered (maybe…but I doubt it, I’m not a puppy after all). My Mom was relentless. I wasn’t allowed to protect the campsite. I wasn’t allowed to rid it of it’s massive squirrel infestation. And worst of all, I’m pretty sure every squirrel within a five mile radius was laughing at me (and even throwing pine cones).
Finally my people finished unpacking and we headed to the lake. THE LAKE! If you don’t know already get in the know, lakes are fantastic! You can run free, you can climb logs, you can swim around like a little otter and then shake off all the water and dirt and pond scum right next to your mom.
That night I slept horribly. The tent was cold. No one thought of bringing a sleeping bag for me let alone an air mattress. When I curled up at mom’s feet she grumbled and whined. Luckily my Dad offered a little more sympathy but not enough to share his pillow. Worst of all I listened to squirrels chattering above me ALL night long. By morning I was ready to sunbathe on the beach and catch up on my beauty sleep but I was once again packed into the car and shuttled to yet another new place.
I spent all day frolicking, swimming and rolling around in the dirt. We climbed a huge mountain, Mom and Dad were sweating and complaining but I was just fine. I guess I’m just in better shape. At the end of the day I slept all the way back to Seattle through the night and late into the next morning.
The following week seemed pretty normal. I went to the dog park with my friends, cuddled in bed with My Dad and had selfie photo shoots with my mom (her idea not mine).
That’s right, everything was back to normal until I woke up on Thursday in Mom’s closet on the ground. I felt disoriented, I felt sleepy and I wondered why I wasn’t sleeping on the foot of mom’s bed or at the very least my own bed and blankie. My Mom seemed just as confused with my strange behavior. I tried to play it off like I’d had a crazy night with Biggs and Cookie (my two friends from the dog park), Yolo right? But Mom wasn’t buying it. She made me get in bed with Dad before she went on her morning run. That’s when I began to notice that something was seriously wrong with me, my left eye was itching like crazy. It was worse than the pesky mosquitoes I had encountered camping. My eye lid was on fire!
By the time Mom was back from her run I was hiding in the closet again, this time out of shame. How had I become so grotesque? I felt like Quasimodo. Mom FAH-REAKED out causing Dad to freak out and soon enough both of them were on their silly phones looking up vets and googling “what to do if my dog’s eye is swollen” etc. etc. Thank God for google or my parents would be helpless. Finally I popped some children’s benadryl and we headed into the veterinarian. Call me crazy but I love the vet, it’s a great place to meet friends really and treats…soo many treats. Since the vet didn’t exactly speak perfect english and my mom and dad were in a state of panic we never really found out exactly what was wrong with me. Bug bite? Eye infection from swimming? The beginnings of the dreaded “cherry eye” mom had seen on google? All I know was I bravely suffered through a few injections, took home some pills which I’ve been receiving in little spoonfuls of peanut butter (my parents are such suckers, do they not remember that I eat plastic beads? I don’t need peanut butter to get down pills!). $100 later and the swelling is going down, my modeling career is saved. When did I contract this eye infection ladies and gentleman? Was it swimming in Lake Wenatchee? At my Grandma’s? My usual walk around Greenlake? Or is it a rare but serious case of too many selfies which leads to inflammation of the eye? The world may never know.
Woah that was seriously a rant. That baby Dog of mine loves to rant, but she’s right about one thing…the mystery of the swollen eye! I was panicking! Has anyone else started hyperventilating in a pet emergency? I was SOO worried about her!